This past week, I listened to Turning Point by Dr. David Jeremiah. His message was titled Dreaming of a Perfect Love: Love, Marriage and Sex. He opened by telling the story of a man who had a heart condition and went to see a heart doctor. The doctor told him he had to make major changes in his lifestyle or risked putting his life in jeopardy. Concerned by the extremity of the man’s condition, the doctor scheduled an appointment with the man’s wife and advised her that she was the key to her husband’s survival. The doctor instructed her to prepare nutritional meals to help her husband start eating better. He further suggested giving her husband shoulder rubs when he arrived home to help relieve his work stress. The doctor then asked her to set aside her own needs and concentrate solely on her husband over the next several months so she could help him heal.
When she arrived home, her husband asked how the meeting went with his doctor. She said, “well, honey, he told me you are going to die.” All joking aside, there is a love the Lord places in a woman’s heart for her husband. God enables a woman to adore her husband with a love that is anointed by His Spirit. Today, we are going to see an instance of this kind of love in a story in the Bible from the book, Song of Solomon.
In the beginning of the fifth chapter, Solomon has arrived home late. It is early in the morning and he can’t get in because he is locked out. He is banging on the door for his wife to open it. Apparently, she is irritated at Solomon and refuses to come to the door. After waiting and waiting, she eventually opens the door, only to find that her husband has left. She becomes worried as to his whereabouts and goes to her girlfriend’s for help. In the ninth verse, we read about Solomon’s wife asking her friends for assistance.
What’s so great about your lover, fair lady? What’s so special about him that you beg for our help?
In her reply, she describes Solomon as she sees him. And it is in these answers that she uncovers critical needs that only a wife can fulfill. In verses 10-15, she describes her husband to her friends:
My dear lover glows with health— red-blooded, radiant! He’s one in a million. There’s no one quite like him.
His head is like the finest gold, pure and untarnished, with raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders.
His eyes are like doves, soft and bright, but deep-set, brimming with meaning, like wells of water.
His face is rugged, his beard smells like sage, his voice, his words, warm and reassuring.
Fine muscles ripple beneath his skin, quiet and beautiful. His torso is the work of a sculptor, hard and smooth as ivory.
He stands tall, like a cedar, strong and deep-rooted, a rugged mountain of a man, aromatic with wood and stone.
His words are kisses, his kisses are words.
In these verses we have the rare opportunity to read about a man’s looks in scripture. There are many passages about a woman’s beauty, but we rarely get a glimpse describing a male. It is important that a wife is her husband’s cheerleader and champion. It is important to a marriage relationship that a wife affirms her husband’s identity. I certainly realize there is not a man among us, including myself, that can compare to Solomon. You might be saying, “Well, give me a husband like Solomon and I will be affirming.” But ladies, you are to avow the husband whom God gave you.
In verse 11, she says his head is like fine gold, which affirms his intelligence. Nothing discourages a man more than when his wife demeans his intellect. Nothing breaks down a man quicker than when his wife degrades him. A woman doesn’t have to say things that aren’t true about her husband, but she needs to confirm his true qualities.
It is apparent Solomon’s wife thinks he is the best looking man on the planet upon reading her description of him. She is his cheerleader and describes the man she loves in glowing terms. Positive affirmation is a MUST for a happy, positive and fulfilling marriage. There is nothing more important to a husband than to know that his wife respects and honors him. Many marriages fail because wives do not realize that their words have a powerful effect on their husbands.
In Chapter 6, verse 3, Solomon’s wife says: I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.
What she is saying is that they are friends. They are not just married but are close friends who care for one another—each putting the other’s needs before their own. Let me ask, “are you and your spouse friends?” When it comes to people who you want to spend time with, does your spouse rank in the top five? If someone asked, “if you could spend time with anyone in the world, who would that person be?” Would it be your spouse?
My prayer is that God will bless every marriage; that each partner affirms the other and is a cheerleader for his or her partner; that they might say of each other, as Solomon’s wife says of him in verse 16: Everything about him delights me, thrills me through and through!
Let God rekindle your marriage and turn your life around. Listen to the full message at