What a Husband Needs From His Wife

This past week, I listened to Turning Point by Dr. David Jeremiah. His message was titled Dreaming of a Perfect Love: Love, Marriage and Sex. He opened by telling the story of a man who had a heart condition and went to see a heart doctor. The doctor told him he had to make major changes in his lifestyle or risked putting his life in jeopardy. Concerned by the extremity of the man’s condition, the doctor scheduled an appointment with the man’s wife and advised her that she was the key to her husband’s survival. The doctor instructed her to prepare nutritional meals to help her husband start eating better. He further suggested giving her husband shoulder rubs when he arrived home to help relieve his work stress. The doctor then asked her to set aside her own needs and concentrate solely on her husband over the next several months so she could help him heal.

When she arrived home, her husband asked how the meeting went with his doctor. She said, “well, honey, he told me you are going to die.” All joking aside, there is a love the Lord places in a woman’s heart for her husband. God enables a woman to adore her husband with a love that is anointed by His Spirit. Today, we are going to see an instance of this kind of love in a story in the Bible from the book, Song of Solomon.

In the beginning of the fifth chapter, Solomon has arrived home late. It is early in the morning and he can’t get in because he is locked out. He is banging on the door for his wife to open it. Apparently, she is irritated at Solomon and refuses to come to the door. After waiting and waiting, she eventually opens the door, only to find that her husband has left. She becomes worried as to his whereabouts and goes to her girlfriend’s for help. In the ninth verse, we read about Solomon’s wife asking her friends for assistance.

What’s so great about your lover, fair lady? What’s so special about him that you beg for our help?

In her reply, she describes Solomon as she sees him. And it is in these answers that she uncovers critical needs that only a wife can fulfill. In verses 10-15, she describes her husband to her friends:

My dear lover glows with health— red-blooded, radiant! He’s one in a million. There’s no one quite like him.
His head is like the finest gold, pure and untarnished, with raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders.
His eyes are like doves, soft and bright, but deep-set, brimming with meaning, like wells of water.
His face is rugged, his beard smells like sage, his voice, his words, warm and reassuring.
Fine muscles ripple beneath his skin, quiet and beautiful. His torso is the work of a sculptor, hard and smooth as ivory.
He stands tall, like a cedar, strong and deep-rooted, a rugged mountain of a man, aromatic with wood and stone.
His words are kisses, his kisses are words.

In these verses we have the rare opportunity to read about a man’s looks in scripture. There are many passages about a woman’s beauty, but we rarely get a glimpse describing a male. It is important that a wife is her husband’s cheerleader and champion. It is important to a marriage relationship that a wife affirms her husband’s identity. I certainly realize there is not a man among us, including myself, that can compare to Solomon. You might be saying, “Well, give me a husband like Solomon and I will be affirming.” But ladies, you are to avow the husband whom God gave you.

In verse 11, she says his head is like fine gold, which affirms his intelligence. Nothing discourages a man more than when his wife demeans his intellect. Nothing breaks down a man quicker than when his wife degrades him. A woman doesn’t have to say things that aren’t true about her husband, but she needs to confirm his true qualities.

It is apparent Solomon’s wife thinks he is the best looking man on the planet upon reading her description of him. She is his cheerleader and describes the man she loves in glowing terms. Positive affirmation is a MUST for a happy, positive and fulfilling marriage. There is nothing more important to a husband than to know that his wife respects and honors him. Many marriages fail because wives do not realize that their words have a powerful effect on their husbands.

In Chapter 6, verse 3, Solomon’s wife says: I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.

What she is saying is that they are friends. They are not just married but are close friends who care for one another—each putting the other’s needs before their own. Let me ask, “are you and your spouse friends?” When it comes to people who you want to spend time with, does your spouse rank in the top five? If someone asked, “if you could spend time with anyone in the world, who would that person be?” Would it be your spouse?

My prayer is that God will bless every marriage; that each partner affirms the other and is a cheerleader for his or her partner; that they might say of each other, as Solomon’s wife says of him in verse 16: Everything about him delights me, thrills me through and through!

Let God rekindle your marriage and turn your life around. Listen to the full message at


Categories: Friends, future, Love, Marriage

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. Hey there,old friend .Its me the old Cajun Apostle(so you call me) Hey man is there still room on your friends list for a prodical friend,who really needs a friend now.Especally a “fallen minister.”

  2. Bro. Darrell What about the Husband who is always guarding what the wife says and then mowing her down with your words offended me and don’t do it again or else. Someone that does that sounds like a male bully to me Just saying. Your post is good today. Blessings

  3. Bro. Darrell, I have found out in my 43 years of being married to one man. That like the wedding vows state, we have to love, honor, and cherish [that means both sides] from day 1 untill death parts us. You are so right, I feel that if a marriage is to last, that the husband and wife are to become friends We should not wait to become friends, after the children are out of the home. But we should become friends even before marriage. Blessings

  4. thanks for your kind love & prayers towards up on us . weare started
    prayers for you and your family .. please pray for us
    i found you face book .
    we are from
    rural areaNAMED MUNGANDA
    it is agreat blessing to contact with you … we would like to gospel
    work with you ………Greetings in the wonderful name of our lord and
    savior jesus .. iam pastorkota ashok kumar , my wife nalini is a
    womens ministry director ..

    wehave an orphans home name jesusorphanshome -regedno1383/99 INDIA
    ..ours is nonprofit & social service Organization ……. we are
    feeding 70 orphans & 50poor widows …this orphans home is runing with
    little donations kind hearted people … please pray for us . the
    donations is not sufficient to feeding them ..

    we have an gospel team .. they are400 pastors working with me in our
    team india . our main goal is preach the word of god to the lost
    people .. weare very poor . but weare rich in christ … please pray
    for us and our ministry work ..i and my team pastors also very busy
    with the evangelism , streets , delta , rural areas and road
    evangelism ….. …. we are seeking up on gods grace next in your
    charity for us …… please tell this need to our heavenly father ,
    what the lord leads you , you will do … i hope prayers can change
    every thing ….every thing in his hands only…not men ……praise
    the lord …….. miracles through come by our heavenly father …

    Now orphans needs;;;;;;;;;;;; school uniforms school bags shoes note
    books text books pens & pencillus please pray for their needs …

    we dont have any source our source is almighty god and next in your
    prayers … now our position is not well financilly .. because , we
    should not pay the rent for the orphans home from ;last 3 months ,
    all the meterials stock nil in our home such like rice , cooking oil ,
    sugar , tooth pasts , soaps , cooking oil , cooking gas e.t.c …
    please pray for the needs of the jesus orphans home

    all the children & widows Started prayers for you and your family and
    your ministry to highly blessed in the lord ..

    weare praying for you and your needs…

    OUR PROJECTS;;;;;;;

    …1.Jesus Orpans Home-Reged no1393/ 99 INDIA a social service &
    Non-profit Organization

    2 .Christian Publications

    3Evangelism & TRACTS distribution

    4. pastors confrences

    5.Public Meetings

    6.VBS 7.Youth Retreats

    8.Women & Converts Ministry

    9.Church Plantation ,Construction of Prayer HallsCommunity Centers in
    needy areas.


    11.Support to local Gospel workers

    12 . medical Help & feeding the HIV AIDS children HIV/AIDS awareness programs


    14Tribal Welfare

    15.Medical and Mercy Ministry

    16.Relief Activities

    17.Drinking water

    18.HIV/AIDS awareness programs

    note….we would like to hearing from you soon

    god bless you all

    MUNGANDA -533224
    E.G.DT. AP .
    E-mail me



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